The day that perhaps embedded for years to come, as recent as just now & perhaps as not real as it can. But its reality & it may take as many years to accept & get embedded deep within psych. Still fresh memory of coming back from institute, desperately stopped by every signal on way, waiting for it to let go. How is that such pre-moment are lapsed & new reality surfaces perhaps undesirable reality that we are forced to live with. The moment of anxiety, the sigh of relief & ruthless reality within next moment. Its a moment that was feared for years but waiting not to emerge & suddenly that abbeys. It may be rather circumstances that is not pardonable or its absence that is not acceptable.. not able to reason out that... its famous Hitler quote that Use emotion for many & reserve reason for few... it is perhaps exactly reverse that fight is for emotion for few & reason for many.